令人捧腹大笑的连飞笑话

哈哈哈哈哈 没啥大事

CCA0214:Wuhan Control This is CCA0214,radio check

ZHWH_CTR:Confirm you do radio check by text?

CCA0214:confirm CCA0214

ZHWH_CTR:CCA0214,read you 5

CCA666: Shanghai CTR CCA666: CCA666 >> CCA666, go ahead CCA666: go ahead >> CCA666, go ahead CCA666: go ahead >> CCA666, go ahead CCA666: go ahead >> CCA666, i mean go ahead >> CCA666, say what you want to say

是我的英语太差么 还是他理解有问题?

 

  [18:18:01] >> IND738, Please give your position report as follows: [LAST FIX CROSSED] at [TIME CROSSED], [FL], estimating [NEXT FIX] at [TIME], [NEXT FIX] * [18:18:24] IND738: heading 196 to way point TILLY   [18:18:30] >> IND738, Please give your position report as follows: [LAST FIX CROSSED] at [TIME CROSSED], [FL], estimating [NEXT FIX] at [TIME], [NEXT FIX]   [18:20:25] >> IND738, can you pass you position report as above pls * [18:21:03] IND738: sir i am hreading 196 degree to waypoint TILLY * [18:21:29] IND738: climbing FL360   [18:23:14] >> IND738, Please give your position report as follows: [LAST FIX CROSSED] at [TIME CROSSED], [FL], estimating [NEXT FIX] at [TIME], [NEXT FIX]   [18:23:53] >> IND738, I DON’T HAVE RADAR, sir * [18:23:56] IND738: sir i gave you 3 times my position   [18:24:04] >> IND738, Please give your position report as follows: [LAST FIX CROSSED] at [TIME CROSSED], [FL], estimating [NEXT FIX] at [TIME], [NEXT FIX]   [18:24:08] >> IND738, you need follow that sir   [18:24:37] >> IND738, where you passed and what time? what is your next waypoint and time? what is the waypoint thereafter * [18:24:47] IND738: i am at fl360 heading 196 to way point TILLY   [18:24:57] >> IND738, what is your last waypoint?   [18:25:29] >> IND738, Please give your position report as follows: [LAST FIX CROSSED] at [TIME CROSSED], [FL], estimating [NEXT FIX] at [TIME], [NEXT FIX] * [18:25:49] IND738: i passed keith * [18:25:59] IND738: heading to TALLY   [18:27:20] >> IND738, when did u passed KEITH?   [18:27:33] >> IND738, i send you 5 times sir, Please give your position report as follows: [LAST FIX CROSSED] at [TIME CROSSED], [FL], estimating [NEXT FIX] at [TIME], [NEXT FIX]   [18:28:26] >> IND738, https://vatpac.org/pilots/pilot-tools/oceanic-reporting-tool   [18:28:35] >> IND738, you can have a look there might help * [18:30:19] IND738: sir i am 65nm out from way point TALLY * [18:30:36] IND738: passed  KEITH   [18:30:45] >> IND738, WHEN did you pass KEITH?   [18:31:00] >> IND738, WHEN will you arrival TILLY * [18:31:20] IND738: yes * [18:31:26] IND738: i passed KEITH   [18:31:28] >> IND738, I NEED A TIME SIR   [18:31:29] >> IND738, WHEN?   [18:31:34] >> IND738, Please give your position report as follows: [LAST FIX CROSSED] at [TIME CROSSED], [FL], estimating [NEXT FIX] at [TIME], [NEXT FIX]   [18:31:37] >> IND738, 6 times sir   [18:31:54] >> IND738, can you please read that and report to me?   [18:32:19] >> UAE112, Pass your last position report when able.  * [18:32:25] IND738: I passed at 6:11 PM utc   [18:32:43] >> IND738, ok when will you pass TILLY? * [18:33:05] IND738: i am 33.5nm out from TALLY   [18:33:44] >> IND738, i don’t care how many nm will you arrival TALLY, i only need to know at WHAT TIME will you cross TALLY sir.   [18:33:46] >> IND738, Please give your position report as follows: [LAST FIX CROSSED] at [TIME CROSSED], [FL], estimating [NEXT FIX] at [TIME], [NEXT FIX]   [18:34:27] >> UAE112, u with me sir? * [18:36:17] IND738: i passed TALLY at 6:34 PM   [18:36:50] >> IND738, ok that should be 2 min ago which is 1834z, what is your next waypoint and time? * [18:37:35] IND738: now i am heading to wrnnr * [18:37:53] IND738: i will reach there in 1:15 hours   [18:37:56] >> IND738, sir can you understand english?   [18:38:04] >> IND738, Please give your position report as follows: [LAST FIX CROSSED] at [TIME CROSSED], [FL], estimating [NEXT FIX] at [TIME], [NEXT FIX] * [18:38:24] IND738: sir i dont know how much time i will take to reach the next way point   [18:38:41] >> IND738, you must calculate your self * [18:38:51] IND738: oh i will reach wrnnr at 1913Z hours   [18:39:13] >> IND738, thank you! what is the waypoint after WRNNR? * [18:40:32] IND738: next way point after WRNNR is SHREE   [18:41:11] >> IND738, thank you! San Francisco Radio copies TILLY at 1834Z, FL360. Estimating WRNNR at 1913Z, SHREE thereafter.  

* [10:03:00] CAL202: Beijing district adjusts the good evening stand C35 Airbus A320 request to be released to Hong Kong CAL202   [10:03:20] >> CAL202, cleared to VHHH, using runway 36R, via RUS9YD departure, join fly planned route, initial altitude 1500 m, cruising level 11000 m, squawk 0026, departure frequency 125.900. * [10:04:44] CAL202: Allowed to VHHH, use 36R, accelerate by RUS9YD, join the flight plan, initial altitude 1500 meters, cruise 11000 meters, SQ 0026, production frequency 125.900.   [10:05:35] >> CAL202, readback correct, report ready. * [10:06:11] CAL202: I don抰 understand 1500 meters, but I understand, the cruise is FL361 meters   [10:06:25] >> CAL202, Hi! China implement RVSM in METRIC LEVEL system. Please visit https://www.vatprc.net/en/rvsm-en for more information.   [10:06:42] >> CAL202, 1500m is 4900ft * [10:08:51] CAL202: Allow VHHH, use 36R, RUS9YD acceleration, join the flight plan, initial altitude 4900FL, cruise FL361, SQ 0026, production frequency 125.900. Thanks this website is very good   [10:09:50] >> CAL202, readback correct, report ready.   [10:09:54] >> CAL202, we don’t use feet so you need to use meters   [10:10:02] >> CAL202, use meter fly in feet * [10:11:25] CAL202: I’ll be ready to report CAL202 * [10:12:29] CAL202: CAL ground preparation stand C35 requests driving permit * [10:12:31] CAL202: CAL ground preparation stand C35 requests driving permit * [10:13:08] CAL202: Do I need to switch the frequency when the ZBAA tower is online? CAL202   [10:13:14] >> CAL202, pushback and startup approved, runway 36R.   [10:13:33] >> CAL202, i will ask you for change, for now on my freq * [10:14:02] CAL202: Can drive CAL202 runway 36 * [10:19:33] CAL202: CAL202 request slip permit   [10:20:03] >> CAL202, contact Beijing Tower 118.500, good day. * [10:20:20] CAL202: contact Beijing Tower 118.500, good day * [10:45:55] CAL202: Beijing district transfer CAL202 is passing 6000 meters to 11000 meters SQ0026   [10:48:47] >> CAL202, Beijing Control radar contact, climb and maintain 11000m. * [10:49:17] CAL202: climb and maintain 11000m. CAL202 * [11:00:45] CAL202: Beijing district tuned CAL202 and returned 30 minutes after leaving   [11:01:24] >> CAL202, approved * [11:01:58] CAL202: Thank you CAL202 * [11:26:44] CAL202: Beijing district tune CAL202 is back   [11:27:12] >> CAL202, roger.   [12:02:20] >> CAL202, you are leaving my airspace, radar service terminated, no further ATC service, monitor to Unicom 122.800, Have a good day. * [12:02:30] CAL202: Monitor 122.8 Thank you conductor for your hard work CAL202

hhh,真的干过。

甚至第一次连飞太紧张了申请放行的时候突然忘了自己的目的地LOL:“白云地面,晚上好,callsign,通波D已抄收,申请放行至……不好意思……申请放行至厦门”

看图

image.png.30fd13d9a5611347fb08c4468612bd32.png

image.png.44253f839e5b7783e0cccd6e19e98071.png再补一个哈哈哈今晚太欢乐了 中文机组就真中文

 

image.png.597870a908eeb34b5a617bc132677411.png

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在更一个:

ZSHC_TWR:XXXX,06可以落地连续起飞、

XXXX:06可以原地起飞

在更一个(今晚怎么这么多):

背景:XXXX机组CRZ是9500,YYYY机组CRZ是9800

XXXX机组的TCAS说有冲突,让上高

ZSHA_CTR: XXXX,证实你的高度在9500

XXXX:我TCAS报啦!他让我上

ZSHA_CTR: 你行高95,你对飞那个机组高度9800,你现在上高?

-----------沉默-------------

那天晚上真的一卡车这种的 哪冲突就往哪避让 110屁股底下有104跟101 他跟我说tcas ra descend= =

这边有两个典中典,春运#5活动里与冬奥活动的。

 

第一个航班号记不得了,看懂大意即可

 

CCAXXXX : XXXCTR,This is CCAXXXX,REQUEST CLB TO 6000,tell me in qq or the plane front of me will DESENT & BLOCK ME.

 

CN TRANSLATE: 某某中心,CCAXXXX请求上高到6000, 请在QQ里告诉我,要不然前面的飞机会下高来堵我。

 

第二个堪称经典

 

速派1356:为了你(1354),我都返航了

EN VER:  SP(?)1356:I JUST RETURN FOR YOU(1354)

 

 

VP跳中文+脏话

 

心 肺 停 止

别骂了

某次深圳活动 ZGSZ_TWR:《欢迎来到杭州》

第二天此管制员上线ZUTF_TWR,落地机组问:“不应该说‘欢迎来到杭州’吗?”

USA087:beijing ground cactus 087 could you please connect the jetway to the aircraft?

 

USA087:北京地面,cactus 087, 你能帮我接一下廊桥吗?

成為第一個因為地震下(跑)線(路)的管制

 

  [15:23:53] >> close for earthquake

  [15:24:14] ZJSA_T_CTR: stay safe

  [15:24:57] ZGKL_TWR: stay safe

 

成就達成(?

unknown.png

 

AA.jpg

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6AE283BC0AC822B39FB3DC3C2F2F83DE

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由于上管上到一半网突然寄了

6a00a2ba2dcf05401587f7833283fb9